I've said it many times: While I appreciate correct grammar, I choose not to sit up in my ivory tower looking down on everyone who misplaces a modifier or uses the subjunctive mood incorrectly. In fact, just last week, I deliberately purchased a t-shirt for Jeremy that contains a grammar error! Gasp! To prove my commitment to grammar tolerance, I am willing to allow my teenager to walk around in grammatically incorrect clothing.
Here are the two t-shirts Jeremy received for his birthday, arranged with the superior shirt-folding skills I gained while working various retail jobs to put myself through college. Ignore the fact that both shirts lack punctuation and see if you can you tell which is the grammar rebel.
The error can be found in the shirt on the right, which should say, "I wish my lawn were emo so it would cut itself." (Don't get the "emo" reference? Wikipedia to the rescue; click here and look for the "Fashion and Stereotype" heading.)
Wait, isn't "my lawn" singular, which means it should use the verb form "was"? Just like I'd say, "That dog was cute." Shouldn't "were" only be used with plural subjects, when I'm talking about at least two lawns? "I wish my lawns were emo..." or "Those dogs were cute?"
Actually no. There are cases where a singular subject requires the verb "were." And since the only person who has ever been able to explain this to me adequately is copy editor extraordinaire Rachel Gainer, a former colleague at Simple Scrapbooks magazine, I invited her to be my first guest grammar blogger! You see, I spent four years in college studying writing, and Rachel spent that same amount of time studying editing. Thus, she's my source of choice when it comes to obscure grammar rules.
Take it away, Rachel!
Hi, everyone! Rachel Gainer here, ready to share what I know about the was/were debate and how to settle it.
Did you know that verbs have moods, just like people? Most sentences are written in the indicative mood—a straightforward, no-nonsense mood that describes reality and identifies facts (e.g., “when I was a little girl, I wanted to be a pediatric neurosurgeon”). There’s also the imperative for commands (e.g., "find me a pediatric neurosurgeon!") and the interrogative for questions (e.g., "do you think I could become a pediatric neurosurgeon?"). But the was/were debate is governed by a lesser-known mood called the subjunctive.
Before we get into when you should use the subjunctive, let’s talk about what the subjunctive looks like. All verbs have present subjunctive forms, but the verb “be” is special because it also has past subjunctive forms—hence the was/were debate. Here’s what the past subjunctive looks like:
Now that you know how to spot the past subjunctive, let’s talk about how to use it. The past subjunctive can be useful in the following four situations:
1. In “that” clauses following the verb “wish” (sometimes “that” is implied)
Example 1: I wish [that] he were here to deliver this speech so I wouldn’t have to do it for him.
Example 2: I wish [that] I were a few inches taller so I wouldn’t have to use a step ladder.
Example 3: I wish [that] Emily were here so we could go bowling tonight.
But be careful, the verb “wish” isn’t always followed by the past subjunctive. In all of the above examples, the “that” clause also meets criterion 2 or 3 below (which are very similar).
2. To emphasize that something is contrary to fact (either untrue or impossible)
Example 1: Barbara acts as though she were the head of the department.
[Here the subjunctive provides an important clue that Barbara is not the head of the department.]
Example 2: We would all get to buy new clothes if the company were to change its dress code.
[I could also say, “We will all get to buy new clothes if the company changes its dress code.” But using the subjunctive emphasizes the improbability of a dress-code change.]
3. To indicate that a situation is hypothetical and unlikely to happen (often proceeded by “if”)
Example 1: If the world were flat, I would rent a sailboat to visit the edge.
[The world is not flat and won’t ever be flat. I’m just speaking hypothetically.]
Example 2: If I were in your shoes, I would dump that man before the end of the week.
[Unless there is a cosmic change of the Freaky Friday nature, I will never be in your shoes. I’m just offering my two cents on the matter. You can do whatever you want.]
This last situation is rarer and often subjective.
4. To express a condition of uncertainty in the future
Example: If I were to accept this new position, would I have to travel often?
[I could say, “If I accept this new position, will I have to travel often?” But using the subjunctive emphasizes that I have not made up my mind.]
Jeremy’s T-shirt is a perfect example of when to use the subjunctive. First, the statement includes the words “I wish” followed by a “that” clause (the word “that” is implied) [#1]. Second, the situation is purely hypothetical and will never come true: the lawn is not human and does not have hands; therefore, it will never be able to mow itself [#3]. Thus, the sentence should read: “I wish my lawn were emo so it would cut itself.”
There are a lot of nitty-gritty details surrounding the subjunctive mood. And sometimes the choice depends on whether or not you want to emphasize the impossibility or uncertainty of a situation. If you’re stumped, ask yourself if the sentence is about something untrue, unlikely, or uncertain. If so, then the subjunctive may be the mood for you.
For another take on the subjunctive, check out this podcast by Grammar Girl.
Thanks Rachel! So, what did everyone think? Did you learn something new today?
by James Rogers. 
