Yeah, Write

A Bit Too "Real Life"

I am so taken by the Project Life scrapbookers who document their lives in weekly spreads, showcasing the extraordinary moments and scenes that make up their ordinary days. It's an incredible commitment that results in amazing memories kept and preserved.

At the moment, I'm also ultra-inspired by the eBook I’m currently editing for Big Picture Classes that showcases some of my favorite “Project Lifers” in action—as they create their weekly spreads and make cool connections for some bonus "insight pages," too. You will LOVE it. 

Meanwhile, I also love to joke with a couple of my scrapbooky friends about the "real life" scenes and pictures that no one would ever include in a Project Life album. (It's all about the highlights vs. the lowlights, right?) We often text these pictures to each other with some version of the caption: "Project Life worthy?"

Examples:
For my friend, a picture of a jar of pickled garlic cloves that her husband consumed right before bed. (No kisses for you!) Or, for me, the mouthguard I wear at night, covered in white calcification deposits.

Real life? Yes. Project Life worthy? Not so much.

And that brings us to this memorable week.

While I definitely experienced many idyllic moments that looked like this:

I also experienced many "NOT Project Life Worthy" moments. And here is the comprehensive list.

1. Walking in on a male colleague in the bathroom.
Missed Photo Op: Nondescript brown loafers with pants pooled around the ankles.

2. Nearly tossing my cookies on a descent into Denver, en route to Spokane for three days of meetings at Big Picture Classes headquarters, aka Stacy Julian's house (see yellow chair above).
Missed Photo Op: Barf bag clutched with two white-knuckled hands.

3. Holding up 2/3 of a full Frontier flight to SLC because I accepted the help of an overeager suited gentleman who assisted with my suitcase, rearranging the entire overhead bin in the process.
Missed Photo Op: Me looking over my shoulder apologetically at a long line of impatient passengers.

4. Requesting to be reseated in the front of the plane—in an effort to avoid the airsickness experienced on the descent into Denver—only to end up in seat 9E, a center seat, directly in front of the exit row, which means: a seat that does not recline. Then, the very moment I pulled out the laptop to work on my editing backlog, having the woman in front of me recline her seat and the gentleman in 9F chuckle and announce: "Perfect timing!"
Missed Photo Op: Me awkwardly hunched over, trying to type on a half-open laptop.

5. Regretting the request made in item #4, which resulted in me spending 95 minutes sitting next to a violently malodorous man sitting in seat 9D, bless his little heart. It is important to note that "sweat wicking" materials, such as those found in many track suits and gym shorts, may pull the sweat away from the skin, but the sweat doesn't just vanish. It goes INTO the fabric. And as such, the fabric should be washed more than once every couple of months.
Missed Photo Op: Me mouth breathing and rubbing scented hand lotion on my upper lip—which didn't work.

6. Invading the personal space of the kind man to my right. It really was so bad that the gentleman in 9F tapped me on the shoulder (completely unprompted) and said, "Excuse me, miss, but I'll lean into the window, so if you want to lean in my direction a little bit, you can. If that helps." I smiled. I leaned. It didn't help. In case you think this was insufferably rude, please note that the malodorous man in 9D did not notice as he was sleeping during the entire flight, apart from the one moment the loudspeaker startled him awake and he grunted and elbowed me in the ribs. To his credit, he kindly apologized before resuming his slumber.
Missed photo op: Self-portrait of two airline passengers leaning to the extreme right.

7. Surreptitiously sticking two very small pieces of a Wint-O-Green lifesaver in my nostrils to filter the air, which actually worked for a while. (What am I, 12?) Then being startled by a question from the flight attendant and whipping my head up to respond “Diet Coke, please,” only to have him vaguely notice the lifesaver shard protruding from my left nostril.
Missed Photo Op: Flight attendant looking down at passenger with quizzical expression.

8. Getting lectured by not one but two flight attendants about putting my electronic devices away in a timely fashion.
Missed Photo Op: Air hostess wagging index finger at unruly passenger.

Sometimes this is all Real Life, too, I’m afraid.

365! Yeah!

As I was posting yesterday's link to the Kony 2012 movement, I glanced at my blog "dashboard" and noticed that it was my 365th post!

It's like that moment when you glance at your car's odometer when it reads 29,999, just before it hits that round-number milestone. I love that.

If I had been posting daily since I launched this blog in 2009, I would have hit 365 posts in one year. But the very thought of that makes my fingers cramp. Instead, over the past three years, I've written a half-dozen gems of blogging genius—and 359 other posts, too—and I have to say, that's not too shabby. 

So, without further ado, I'm ready to post those crafty links I alluded to yesterday. Yep, it's the return of the Books & Crafts weekly web show, and we're three episodes into season two. Fun stuff!

Now, if you also read the Ella Publishing blog, this is already old news to you, as I posted these links there yesterday (after my conscience steered me away from posting crafty fun and frivolity on the same post as a video outlining the horrors happening to children in Uganda).

I apologize for the double posting, but I'm just not one of those people who assumes that everyone is tracking everything I do online. For example, I never ever say in conversation, "Did you read my blog yesterday?" or "Did you see my latest Facebook status?" before sharing an anecdote or story that I've previously shared online. This often makes people think that they were expected to have already seen it.

Instead, I leave it up to my fellow conversant to stop me with a "Yeah! Super funny.* I saw that on Facebook yesterday." (Quick ettiquette tip: this is a much kinder apporach than the old hand-in-the-face followed by, "Heard it! Move on.") Or to endure hearing it twice. Chances are, if I'm inclined to mention something both online AND in person, it's worth hearing a couple of times. But there are no guarantees.

[* Alternate adjectives to use in place of "funny," as needed: "fascinating," "horrifying," "nauseating," "crazy," "sad," "irrelevant."]

Sorry! It turns out there WAS further ado after all. But there won't be any more. Here are the links:

Double-Page Design Tips (NEW THIS WEEK!)

This episode shares four favorite tips for creating well-designed, two-page spreads. AND there's a $2 coupon code at the end of the show episode! Watch now.

 

DIY Library Totes (featuring guest Kari Sweeten)

Guest Kari Sweeten from U-CreateCrafts.com shares four gorgeous ideas for library totes—one for every member of the family! Easy and ingenious. (And, here's a link to the sewing tutorial mentioned in the episode.)  Watch now.

 

Book Paper Garlands

Wendy and I share favorite tips for creating three different book-paper garlands. You'll LOVE these! Watch now.

Really, it's not a bad way to spend a half an hour. Enjoy!

Leap Day? Bleep Day!

It seems that this "extra" day, this February 29th that only comes around every four years, is cosmically cursed. Everything was going along swimmingly until 12:30 last night (technically this morning, I suppose, when we crossed into this tacked-on day that shouldn't really exist, apparently ;).

Here's what happened:

So for the last month, we've been building up to the release of an exciting new Stamping Secrets eBook at Ella Publishing Co.! The entire month has been leading up to this day and the release of this new eBook:

So, at 12:30 last night, I finished writing the big announcement email, and prepared to fall blissfully asleep a full hour or two earlier than I had for the last three nights.  I was exhausted; my body was SO ready for rest.

And then Bleep Day happens, in the following order:

* I meant to schedule the email for several hours later—early this morning—but accidentally sent it right away. #$*#%!

* Then some scheduled site maintenance for ellapublishing.com went awry at 1:00 a.m., causing the site to go down RIGHT AFTER I EMAILED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, INVITING THEM TO COME OVER. #$*#%!!!

* I was able to wake up one of my website developers and get him working on the problem, while I lay on my sofa, not sleeping, debating whether to send a retraction email saying: NEVER MIND, DON'T COME OVER YET. NOBODY'S HOME!

* I fall asleep for exactly one hour, all the while dreaming that my site is back up, but everything I've added to it in the last week has disappeared. #$*#%!!!!

* As morning on the East Coast approaches (when people will awake and actually see the invitation to come over to the deserted party) the developer throws up his hands. He's tried everything he can think of. We need to try the other guy, whom we can't reach until after 7. #$*#%!!!!!

* I decide to send the DON'T COME OVER email to the 8,000 people I mistakenly emailed earlier and just go to sleep. And I instantly get an error message saying I've exceeded my allowable number of business emails for the month. And if I want to send this one, I'm going to have to PAY through the nose. Or, I could wait until March 1, and then the email would be part of my regular plan. (I wanted to scream that in any other year,  today WOULD BE be March 1st, but somebody had to go and tack on that extra day.) #$*#%!!!!!

* I fall asleep again for exactly one hour, knowing that while my website may still be down, at least I've warned people not to come over. And at 7 :15 a.m., I finally hear from the other guy, who had the site back up in 2.2 seconds! And none of my recent work was lost! It was just a weird little thing only he knew how to do. Hooray!

* And then I send the IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN COME OVER NOW email (again paying through the nose because it is still not March 1st, although I think it definitely SHOULD be). 

* I then proceed to have similar, gremlin-like issues with two other completely unrelated online services that I depend upon for my business. #$*#%!!!!!

* And then Keira awakes, and my day begins. She smears her entire head with peanut butter at breakfast, and then feeds my credit card to the dog, who chomps right through it in one bite as if it were made of fruit leather. :)

It's okay, I can do this. I've survived on 120 minutes of sleep before, I'm sure.

I'd like to turn off every machine in my house and pretend like it's 1906. But it's freezing, windy, and gray outside today (of course) and we'll need the furnace at least. Wish me luck.

Sorry about my language.

(And thanks to my friend and marketing guru, Yvette, for coining the term "Bleep Day.")

 

Gifts I AM Giving This Year

Yes, I'm serious. I gave someone a plush uterus. My sister had hers removed earlier this month, so I sent her a new one! She loved it.

And it's giving her far fewer problems than her previous one. The company, I Heart Guts, also has plush kidneys, hearts, gall bladders, even an appendix. (Thanks to my friend Yvette for the tip!)

 

Yes, Heaven help me, Keira is getting a Sing-a-Ma-Jig. I was worse than all the kids in the Kohl's toy section last week, playing with and giggling at the Sing-a-Ma-Jig display. Keira was fascinated too, so guess what she's getting, thanks to my 30 percent off coupon?

And in the grand tradition of Grandpa Jeff (my dad), I find I AM getting Keira's Christmas gifts out early for her to play with—I have to make sure she likes them!—before putting them back away so they can be a "surprise" on Christmas morning. This will probably be the only year that trick will actually work.

In far less hilarious news (what could be funnier than a plush internal organ, after all), I've created some quick and inexpensive Christmas photo albums for my family members.

You can read all about it on the Ella blog (just follow that previous link or click on the picture)! And/or enjoy the free tutorial I created showing you exactly how to colorize a PNG file in Photoshop Elements. My gift to you:

Now to round up some white elephants for my family Christmas party. Any grand ideas for gag gifts?

3rd Annual Christmas Not-Shopping List

With only five more shopping days to go before Christmas, I decided it's time to disappoint my friends and family yet again with my list of things they will not be receiving from me this year.

1. The Smart Planet CDM-2 Pigs in a Blanket Maker
Granted, this puppy has a total of seven reviews on Amazon.com, all 5-star. But I suppose if you're going to purchase an appliance this specific, you probably have a specific need for it. And since I don't think there's anyone on my gift list this year who is a particular pig-in-a-blanket connoisseur, I'll take a pass on this one. It would probably be a big hit with the kids, though. Me? I'm not sure I've even had the option  to sample this American delicacy since I frequented the Southland Elementary cafeteria in the '80s.

 

2. Claw magnifying necklace
It makes such a statement all on its own that, well, what would you wear with it? Maybe a tall, pointy hat? So, friends and family, you won't be startled by one of these in your gift bag this year. For that matter, it's probably safe to say that I won't be giving any gifts this year that involve bird claws.

 

3. Giraffe toilet brush.
Finally! A toilet-cleaning device that you can proudly display in your bathroom! No boring, white toilet brushes skulking in the corner, where no one ever notices or appreciates them. And the fact that it looks like a toy means your kids will happily play with it for hours on end. With a giraffe-shaped toiled brush, everyone wins. But you're still not getting one from me this year.

 

4. Eggies.
Sorry, pals, you won't get the opportunity to replace the frustration of peeling the shells off of hard-boiled eggs with the frustration of assembling six tiny capsules, greasing them up with cooking oil, trying to aim the contents of a cracked egg into the tiny opening on top, cleaning up the mess once the pan boils over, and then trying pry the boiled eggs out of the capsules. Not from me, anyway.

 

I couldn't even bring myself to talk about Forever Lazy this year, but that doesn't mean it's in the running for gift giving. Maybe next year.

What are you most excited about not getting this year?

For additional ideas for what not to give, also consult my 2010 and 2009 lists.

Capturing the Elusive Muttshroom

Our little "gogga" (as Keira calls her) is notoriously difficult to photograph. One problem is that her face is so much darker than her body. And the other problem? She never holds still. Ever.

Also, she somehow senses when I'm about to snap the shutter, and she closes her eyes just in time. Or runs in the other direction. Or shakes her head just enough to make it blurry. Behold:

So, imagine our surprise and delight when, after many months of trying, we finally caught Jovie in her famous "muttshroom" pose.

Every now and then, you look out into the back yard, and it appears as though a dog-shaped mushroom has taken root in the lawn. She tucks all of her limbs under her body and plants herself as deeply into the grass as she can. And she doesn't move a muscle. (Until, that is, she senses a camera lens pointed at her.) But finally, we have captured it.

Is the little beast getting slower? Or am I getting quicker with the camera? Time will tell.

But I also recently captured another of her signature moves: carrying her dog dish around the yard (and through my strawberries, naughty puppy) after she's done eating.

Good gogga, Jovie. Good gogga. Maybe next I'll be able to get a picture of her sitting on top of her dog house, Snoopy-style.

Last Week

Random ramblings from a week in the Lucas household.

A new episode of Books & Crafts was released.

Wendy and I headed to the studio to film another series of Books & Crafts episodes—a day which was preceded by several very late nights.

Keira and I spent two days in our pajamas, recovering from the heretofore mentioned events. It must be said that we didn't wear the same pajamas for two consecutive days—at least Keira didn't. Since my pajamas weren't smeared with peaches and didn't have cheese scrubbed into the zipper, I felt okay about continuing to wear them.

Despite my exhaustion, I stayed up until 2 a.m. (again) the night we filmed, reading The Glass Castle in one sitting. This true story of a staggeringly disfunctional family was told with candor and not an ounce of self-pity. It was mesmerizing. And when Keira woke me at the crack of dawn the next morning, I still thought it was worth it. I just convinced her to take an early nap with mama on the couch, and by 10 a.m., I was semi-functional.

I continued to work my way through the back seasons of My Name is Earl. I rarely watch anything live these days. It's just so much fun to discover a "new" show and watch it all the way through in a month or two, via Netflix.

I felt very inspired by the card-making fun at Ella Publishing Co. this week.

I felt sad, several times, about the passing of Steve Jobs. And then chuckled inappropriately at the coverage from The Onion (satirical online "news" site), which reported: 'The Last American Who Knew What the Bleep He Was Doing Dies," followed by a fake quote from President Obama: "This is a dark time for our country, because the reality is none of the 300 milion or so Americans who remain can actually get anything done or make things happen. Those days are over." Sad, but true. And sad. And true. ;)

I spent a delightful afternoon walking around Barnes & Noble with a new friend, discovered via my blog. I had mentioned her by name in a post I wrote last year, after hearing her speak about infertility at an adoption conference. Thinking she lived in another state and that she'd never come across my blog, I mentioned how inspiring I found her and how I secretly wished she were my neighbor. Then a few weeks ago, after she discovered the post, I received an email with the title, "Want to be BFFs?" It turns out we have lots in common: infertility, adoption, reading, writing, and a love of English scones. AND we live in neighboring cities. I love meeting new friends.

Travis and I took Keira on her first fall hike. She loved it for the first half and slept through the second half. I wish I could just fall asleep wherever I wanted and that people would tote me around while I snooze. I tell ya, being a baby is the best. (Except for the pooping your pants part.)

 

I worked on finalizing everything for the Primary Program for this Sunday, which is the end-of-the-year performance/review for all the children in my church congregation. They sing all the songs they've worked on this year and recap the things they've learned. The past 10 months of church have all been leading up to this moment, and all 45+ kids' parents and grandparents will likely be in attendance, but no pressure. No pressure at all. (There really isn't any pressure when I remember that when you combine kids and music, it's just going to be adorable, no matter what. And it's not about me and my skills as a leader; it's about them and what they've learned this year. There, I feel calmer already.)

Yep, I did lots of things this week, but I didn't blog. Until now.

The End.

The CUTEST End Ever.

The Planking Giraffe

Today I'm a guest on the Paperclipping Roundtable, which is always a fabulously fun time. (We're recording later today, and it should be live soon. Look for episode #77.)

And because I have a very loud 9-month-old (no real words, just squeaks and squawks), I usually head over to my mother-in-law's house, where I sit in the basement with my laptop and my headset while grandma and grandpa entertain the baby upstairs. And usually Bev makes me a sandwich, too. Last month it was egg-salad.

I have discovered lots of awesome things from listening to Paperclipping Roundtable, but one of my recent favorites is the "planking" trend, which was mentioned by Izzy. Everyone thought he was kidding at first, but he wasn't. I know I would have loved this in college.

What is planking?

Planking is an Internet sensation in which people are photographed lying facedown in some weird place, arms at their sides. There are many Facebook groups devoted to the trend:

Planking The Original, est. 2009, with 560,000 fans.

Extreme Planking, with 36,000 fans.

The Lying Down Game, with 110,000 fans.

I recently discovered an episode of planking in my own home. It was Keira's stuffed giraffe, and no one knows how he got this way.

But it's perfect, no?

Trend or Foe?

I love Hipstamatic photos taken with our iPhones. I love the crazy filters, the borders, the instant nostalgia, the way they mask or elevate or transform everyday scenes into something magical.

And above all of that, I love that the Hipstamatic filter hides those flaws in the photos I take when I'm out and about and don't have my "real" camera with me. Besides, as Travis recently said, "The best camera is the camera you have with you." So true.

Thus, it is so tempting to take most of my photos with my iPhone and its Hipstamatic app. And as I import our pictures, from both Travis and me, I notice the percentage shifting each month. More and more iPhone photos, fewer and fewer images taken with the DSLR.

And yet I wonder: Will we one day regret this? Will I look back at this time in my life and wish I had more pictures that showed the scenes from my life realistically, rather than transformed into some ethereal, filtered version of my life? Will we all collectively look back at this trend the way we now look at the days of cutting photos into stars, hearts, and other cutesy, outdated shapes in scrapbooking?

Trends scare me. Because they depart as quickly as they arrived, and if you embrace the wrong one too strongly, you end up looking foolish. And fickle. And where's the line between the two anyway?

I tend to value the real. The authentic. I'm constantly weighing whether I like something because I like it or because I want to appear to other people to like it. What is my authentic reaction? Do I like Hipstamatic prints because they appeal to me, or because they appeal to everyone else?

Then I read my first paragraph again, and I realize that there is a reaction in my core that draws me to this look, trendy though it may be. I LOVE these images. The filtered effects almost make them MORE real to me; they're a better representation of how I feel about them and how I'd imagine these scenes in my mind's eye. These photos are my feelings and impressions made visible, tangible (even though these three examples were taken by my Hubster, Travis, because, let's face it, his are better than mine).

So, I feel okay about it. Because if I'm doing something for no other reason than to fit in, I feel like I've lost a little bit of myself.

Other trends I wonder about:

• In photography, I wonder about angel wings added to children in photos and adult-size butterfly wings worn by grown women wearing June Cleaver-style dresses to give that fairy-tale effect to a photo. Where is the line between it looking sweet (which it can be) and becoming self-parody?
• And in music, I wonder about all the ladies with the red lipstick who look like 1940s pin-up models and sing with their baby-doll voices that barely whisper at times, as if they're telling you an intimate secret, as they sing about balloons, soda pop, and dreams (and also, I'm certain, some of them sing about unicorns) with plinking piano music in the background. Which of them are expressing their real selves this way (Zooey Deschanel, I think, is) and which are simply following along?
• And in the blogosphere, I wonder about the women who refer to their spouses over and over again with a cutesy nickname. (Pioneer Woman may have started it all by calling her hubby "Marlboro Man," which was and is charming. But it seems others think it's a requirement in order to have a blog.) If he had the nickname before you had your blog, that's one thing, but if the nickname was generated specifically for the blog, is it simply for effect? To fit in?*
• And in general, I wonder about the members of the hipster subculture who try so hard to be different and unique from the mainstream world, and in doing so, end up all looking exactly like each other. Some of them, no doubt, have always dressed this way (like my brother-in-law, who's been wearing Chuck Taylors nonstop since 1994). But are others just riding the wave?

Why do these things both attract and puzzle me at the same time?

I think the fascinating part is that if it's real, and if it's YOU, and if you find a trend that strikes a chord with you, and thus you embrace it, then I admire that. But if it's just an attempt to fit in, then that's the part that, for me, doesn't ring true. (Of course, I know I've always been one to think and care about "authenticity" more than other people. It's a curse, thanks to my Myers-Briggs personality type. But more on that another time.)

Hipster Attributes include:

1. Men wearing Chuck Taylor Converse, skinny jeans, a button-up shirt and a bowtie, with black-framed glasses and gelled hair that's parted too far on one side
2. Women dressing like June Cleaver, with a large handmade necklace or headband up top and either '40s-inspired heels or converse sneakers on bottom. (I only wish I had the body for such dresses.)
3. Cat-eye glasses and pin-up girl hairstyles. (My mom rocked this look in the '60s!)
4. Androgynous hairstyles with sideswept bangs on both men and women.
5. Thrift-store clothing (or expensive clothing that is carefully designed to look thrift).
6. Riding vintage (or vintage-looking) bicycles, with baskets of flowers on the front. Or perhaps riding one just long enough to be photographed doing so.
7. Horizontal striped shirts, super skinny jeans, and a scarf or a retro-style hat.
8. And, according to Urban Dictionary, possessing no more than 5% body fat and very little muscle tone. (That rules me out on both counts.)

It reminds me of a game my friends and I used to play when we'd go out and about. If you see a duo or trio of teenage girls, they are often dressed quite similarly, if not exactly alike except for the colors of their shirts. The game is, "Which is the original and which is the copy?" And it's usually quite easy to determine.

What about you? What are your thoughts about trends, fads, and fitting in? Where's the line for you personally?

There's always been a side of me that's far too practical to ever be a true artist (and definitely not an arTEEST). And this may be the blog post that proves it. And I may also be showing my age... :)

* Note: Did you notice the introduction of a snarky new nickname for Travis? Yeah, "Hubster" was just a joke--a little precursor to bullet point #3. You can't blame a girl for trying to fit in.

Why Grocery Shopping Sucks

1. You load up your cart with boxes, bags, and sundries, while hideous music plays overhead.
2. You unload everything at the checkout counter and always spend $50 more than you meant to.
3. Then if, heaven forbid, you use the self-checkout, you then have to load everything BACK into your cart yourself.
3. You then unload your cart (again) into the trunk of your car.
4. You then unload your trunk and carry everything into your kitchen.
5. And finally, you unload the individual bags into your cupboards (or pantry, for you lucky devils), only to repeat the process 7 days later.

Could anything be more inefficient?

I dream of the days when we can beam everything Star-Trek style directly into the refrigerator.

I do have a vegetable garden, which helps, but it's only useful 3 months of the year.

What are your thoughts on grocery shopping?

p.s. Is anyone clear on why the term "home farming" has caught on? What was wrong with "gardening"? Is it because gardening is something old people with funny hats do, while home farming is something young hipsters with $70 haircuts do? I was just wondering.