Yeah, Write

One Tiny Blond Curl

I'll admit it; I was dreading this day. It's just another moment in a long line of milestones marching into the future, pointing to the inevitability of my baby growing up. But not cutting her hair isn't going to keep her tiny. Instead, it keeps her perpetually annoyed. She's always brushing wisps of hair out of her eyes, unless it's pulled up into her signature "hair fountain," which is forever tickling my nose.

So the time has come for a little trim. I almost couldn't bear to part with her little baby curl in the back. But it also made a perfect keepsake. One tiny blond curl.

She was a champ! Not a cry, not a squirm, not a peep. It doesn't hurt that our good friend Kelli did the honors, so Keira was not in an unfamiliar place.

As much as I thought I'd miss that curl, I completely adore the soft, subtle waves she has left. 

And this is mine to keep.

And there was even time left over for a little bit of reading. 

Next up: the macaroni-and-cheese test. I'm sure Keira has plans to find out how her slightly shorter blond locks will hold up to a rejuvenating cheesy noodles (and/or yogurt) scalp treatment. I'll be sure to return and report. 

Tuesday's TED Talk: Don't Regret Regret

We should always look forward, not backward, right? What's done is done, so just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Live without regret. This seems to be a cultural value that we all generally buy into.

But maybe regret has its place. In fact, the inability to experience regret is one of the diagnostic characteristics of sociopaths, as Kathryn Schulz explains in the TED Talk that's inspiring me today. We just need to put the right framework around it. 

My Takeaways

• Regret requires both agency and imagination. The more we have of both, the more acute we feel the regret.
• The easier it is to imagine a different outcome, the more we will regret what happened (or didn't happen). We will regret missing a flight by 3 minutes more than we regret missing a flight by 20 minutes. (As a person who has missed three flights in her lifetime, one due to being stuck in a no-way-out drive thru at In-N-Out Burger for an uncharacgteristically long time, I can personally vouch for this fact. :)
• As a society, we are incredibly used to not dealing with life's hard realities. In so many situations, we can undo, unfriend, and unfollow. So it can be all the more jarring when we are faced with a huge regret.
• The "Reply to All" button is one of the biggest regret generators in modern times. I know I've been a victim of the dreaded "Reply to All."
• Regret is useful in that it teaches us that we can do better.
• We CAN make peace with regret by: 1) realizing it's universal, 2) applying humor to the situation, even black humor if necessary, 3) realizing that all things improve with the passage of time, 4) believing that our regrets (like Kathryn's tattoo) are not as ugly as we think they are.

I LOVE this quote: "All of us who have experienced regret that contains real pain and real grief understand that humor, and even black humor, plays a crucial role in helping us survive. It connects the poles of our lives back together, the positive and the negative, and it sends a little current of life back into us."

And this one, "If we have goals and dreams and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don't want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn't to live without any regrets. The point is to not hate ourselves for having them."

What are your thoughts about regret?

A Take Twelve Personal Adventure: August & September

While I faithfully took my twelve photos for the Take Twelve Photo Challenge on August 12, I didn't quite get around to making my layout until, oh, September 12. So this month, enjoy a two-for-one!

August

I borrowed one of the Bonus Project Ideas from the Take Twelve Guided Inspiration Kit to guide my August photo-taking project. Instead of going through my day, snapping 12 candid photos of whatever inspired me, I started out with a plan: to snap 12 posed portraits of people I love. Since it was Sunday and the family had gathered at my mom's for dinner, I had plenty of willing (or semi-willing) subjects.

Left page: Travis took the photos of me and Keira. I snapped shots of everyone else. My dad is usually only willing to be photographed if he has a grandchild in his arms—and he usually does if there's one around.

Right page: One brother cooperated, and the other...well, at least he held still long enough for me to grab his picture, staring soulfully off into the distance. Can you tell who that cute little blondie in the top row belongs to? That's my gorgeous niece, Jensyn, who is just about to turn 8.

Full spread: I love seeing all of these happy, smiling faces all in a row. I kept my design pretty simple, creating a row of little layered circles—a design trend I picked up in Scrap Chic: Tricks for being trendy without sacrificing story, which is the first eBook released under the Big Picture Classes brand!

September

I was back to my standard Take Twelve approach in September: a dozen random photos of my everyday life, taken whenever I felt like taking one. I tried to be intentional about snapping photos that related to the changing season, and I borrowed another idea from the Take Twelve Guided Inspiration Kit—try a few unexpected angles.

  Left page: For my unexpected angles here, I took a picture of morning snuggle time that shows just how tightly we like to wedge our little Keira in between us. I then shot Keira's breakfast from an extreme overhead angle, and caught this small sunflower straight on and close-up, making it seem much larger than it really is.

Right page: Here, unexpected angles show up in the gorilla picture (although, what choice did have but to shoot him from above?) and in my self portrait I took while driving. Sound dangerous? It wasn't really. I was actually stopped at a stoplight, waiting for it to turn green, and I held my hand out to the side and took a series of off-the-cuff pictures without looking at the camera. I was amazed I got one that was this good. (And believe me, there was only ONE good one in the bunch.)

Full page: I suppose I'm a one-trick pony when it comes to scrapbook pages that feature 12 photos. I love that horizontal grid. I promise I'll try something different next month. Maybe, I don't know, a VERTICAL grid! I like to live on the edge...

Tuesday's TED Talk: How to Spot a Liar

The TED idea I'd like to spread today is by Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception

This one was fascinating to me, from beginning to end. We all lie, even if we don't admit it, and not all of our lies are harmful. Strangers will lie to each other three times within the first 10 minutes of meeting each other. Spouses lie to each other once in every 10 interactions. Unmarried couples lie to each other once in every 3 interactions. Unbelievable, right?

Lying, Meyer says, is an attempt to bridge the gap between who we wish we were and who we really are.

Warning: There are two short video clips in this talk that are quite haunting, featuring two different mothers talking about the murder of their children.

My Takeaways:

• Lying is a cooperative act. A lie has no power at all until someone chooses to believe it.
• Extroverts lie more often than introverts. I've also heard that highly creative people lie more often than people who don't describe themselves as creative. The reason? Creative people can think of lots more ways for something to be true.
• As a culture, we're deeply ambivalent about the truth and we parse it out on an as-needed basis.
• Trained lie-spotters can get to the truth 90 percent of the time, while the rest of us get there only 54 percent of the time. It's comforting to know that there are some tricks we can learn to keep from being drawn in by harmful lies.
• I will probably never forget the "leaked" expression on Diane Downs' face at the end of her video clip. Duping delight. Shudder.
• I will keep an eye out for the "leaked" expression of contempt. A sure warning sign. Shudder again.

So what do you lie about the most often? Are you willing to admit it? ;)

I'll admit mine if you promise not to judge me. If I'm late and on my way somewhere, and I get a call from someone asking me how close I am, I almost always tell them I'm two freeway exits closer than I really am. Cringe. Why do I do that?

I think it's because I'm not a punctual person. And I wish I were. And that's one way I try to bridge the gap between who I really am and who I want to be. But now that I've said it out loud, I'm clearly not going to get away with it anymore. So I suppose now's a good time to knock it off!

Okay, your turn. If you dare.

 

Unleashing the Power of School Lunch

It turns out that the topic of school lunch has an almost magical ability to draw out of people authentic memories and stories from their childhood. It certainly did for me. Who knew?

And that's the topic of the "big idea" that I'm sharing inside the FREE Big Idea Festival over at bigpictureclasses.com today. (Join in on the fun here. Today's the last day!)

I've got an 8-minute video that's all about writing for the sake of writing (and also school lunch), a memory dump for you to read (brought to you by Southland Elementary School, circa 1984), a challenge for you to try, and the rest of the scrapbook page you see below. Yes, that's me in the 2nd grade. Aren't you just dying to pinch my cheeks?

My big idea was inspired by Anne Lamott, author of the book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, which I originally borrowed from the library but then had to purchase because it's that good. 

Here's a portion of the lengthy quote that I shared in my video. This is Lamott's quick memory dump, an exercise she frequently has her writing students try, and it's focused solely on the sandwiches from her elementary school years:

"Your sandwich was the centerpiece, and there were strict guidelines. It almost goes without saying that store-bought white bread was the only acceptable bread. There were no exceptions. If your mother made the white bread for your sandwich, you could only hope that no one would notice. You certainly did not brag about it, any more than you would brag that she also made headcheese. And there were only a few things that your parents could put in between the two pieces of bread. Bologna was fine, salami and unaggressive cheese were fine, peanut butter and jelly were fine if your parents understood the jelly/jam issue.”

“Grape jelly was best, by far, a nice slippery comforting sugary petroleum-product grape. Strawberry jam was second; everything else was iffy. Take raspberry, for instance—...It felt like there were all these tiny little pod people in it. It was Body-Snatcher jam.”

When you're overwhelmed by what to say or where to start, Lamott suggests starting by describing solely what you can see through a 1-inch picture frame. So she started with the sandwich.

When I delved into my own childhood memories from the Southland Elementary cafeteria, images of "hot lunch" surfaced the strongest for me, although I think I brought "cold lunch" from home in my blue Smurfs lunch box just as often.

In my own memory dump, which you'll find inside the Big Idea Festival classroom today, I share a little bit of everything, including the dramatic story of a classmate who choked on a hot dog and was saved from certain death by Mr. Wright the Janitor and his knowledge of the Heimlich manuever.

Does anyone else remember these lunchtrays? And did you know you can purchase them on etsy.com and even Amazon?

This is the lunchbox I had as a child. I can remember exactly how it smelled at the end of the day when my mom opened it to empty out the crumpled plastic baggies filled with remnants and crumbs.

Today's the last day you can register for the festival, and once you register, you're free to go back and watch all previous 13 big ideas shared so far—and you'll have eternal access to everything! I'd love to see you share your own school-lunch memories inside the Big Idea Festival for your chance to win something cool.

 

The ABC's of Keira: E

E is a letter in Keira's name, which means she has a cute little jar filled with items that start with "E" (featured on my Books & Crafts web show recently). We plan to gather tiny items on our travels, near and far, to fill up the jar. 

I can't wait until she's old enough to understand the game, and the jars get fuller with authentic souvenirs that we find together. So far, her jar contains a wind-up walking Easter egg, two elephants, an eel, the Earth, and a tiny eagle.

Wind-up Easter egg not pictured, because true to its Easter-egg nature, it was hiding under the couch at the time.

She's probably going to be an extrovert, if I can judge by the number of strangers she yells "hi" and "bye" to when we're out and about.

She loves elephants (see above). They are definitely her favorite animal at the zoo, and I promise I didn't deliberately influence her in this way, just because of Ella Publishing Co. (But I'm certain there are some environmental factors at play, as there are more than a few elephant-themed items in the house. Far more elephants than, say, rhinos or ostriches.) Right now, at 23 months, she pronounces it "ephant," and she loves singing that lame elephant song from Barney.

She has an adorable pal named Emmy, 4 months her junior, who lives just down the street. They play very well together, and they alternate being bossy to each other, so it works out well. My favorite story is when they were taking turns standing on an upside-down saucer sled, playing their own version of that game "king of the hill." At one point when Emmy was on the sled and Keira wanted a turn, she very craftily walked up and hugged Emmy from behind, causing me and Emmy's mom to say, "Awwwww!" But then, while maintaining the hug, Keira very gently walked Emmy off of the sled before proudly taking her position as "king of the sled."

Emmy and Keira at ages 5 months and 9 months, respectively.

Keira and Emmy "sharing" the Little Tikes car at ages 22 months and 18 months,.

Also, at church, if they ever spot each other amongst the pews, you'll hear "Emmy!" and "Keewa!" ringing through the congregation, kind of like "Marco!... Polo!"

One of Keira's very favorite things to do is to play with containers that have lids, which she calls "eds." She loves nothing more than to take off an "ed" and put it back on again, over and over again. This obsession has been in place ever since she was just barely discovering her opposable thumbs.

Our biggest challenge so far with our Keira has been with her eating. She doesn't appear to consume enough calories to sustain a small sparrow, but somehow she's still growing, at a slow and steady pace. No matter what pediatrician-recommended tricks we try (and we've tried them all) she simply won't eat very much of anything. Recently while my mom was watching her on date night, I called to check on things. "What's she doing right now?" I asked. "Not eating dinner," she replied. Typical.

Despite what you'd suspect from the previous paragraph, she has endless energy. Like most toddlers, she runs everywhere she goes and dances everywhere else. She has her own signature move wherein she keeps the top half of her body fairly still while she rapidly stomps her feet, lifting her knees high in the air. She looks like a Riverdance marionnette, almost weightless, as if being supported by invisible strings. And since she weighs next to nothing, well, it can't be too hard to pull off. I've tried the move myself and I don't look quite so weightless.

Note to my family: No doubt I have forgotten a very important person whose name begins with "E." If I have and this person is you, I invite you to inform me so I can update this post and thus appease your suffering.

Next up: the letter "F," to be posted sooner or later.

The ABC's of Keira is a blog series that started in January 2012 and has no particular schedule, so who knows how long it will take me to get through the entire alphabet! See also:

The ABC's of Keira: D
The ABC's of Keira: C
The ABC's of Keira: B
The ABC's of Keira: A

 

Tuesday's TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability

 I'm feeling ambitious today about my new job responsibilities, now that Ella Publishing Co. has a parent company. (Everything's going great except for that unreasonable curfew. *eye roll* Parents. Who needs 'em. ;)

One of my hopes is that the new EPC/BPC partnership will free up more time for my poor, neglected blog. And so far, it looks good. On to today's topic...

One thing that's been a big part of my life lately is the huge library of TED talks: "Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world." TED stands for "Technology, Entertainment, Design" and also boasts the tagline "Ideas worth spreading."

I'm about to spread some of those ideas in my own little way, once a week, on Tuesdays.

One of my very favorites is by Dr. Brene Brown, titled "The Power of Vulnerability," which has been viewed 5.8 million times and is absolutely worth every minute you devote to it today.

 

My Takeaways:

• I love the phrase "lean into the discomfort," which Brown picked up from the social-work world. It's natural to turn away, brace ourselves, and hide when we feel uncomfortable. But that keeps us from connecting at times when either we OR the other person is in desperate need to connect.
• To be connected, you have to be SEEN as you really are, which means allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
• To live wholeheartedly, you must live with courage, compassion, connection, and vulerability.
• If you're not gentle and compassionate with yourself, you can't be gentle and compassionate with others.
• While vulnerability is the source of pain and loneliness, it is also the birthplace of love, joy, and creativity. And you can't numb one side without numbing the other.
• And the biggest lesson, the one that I want to absorb into my whole soul and instill into my daughter every minute of her life (and my stepson, although he's 18 so he already knows everything :) is this:

"You are imperfect and wired for struggle,
but you are worthy of love and belonging."

These are life-changing concepts, people. And I'm delving into them deeper by reading one of her books, The Gifts of Imperfection (which incidentally, for you scrapbooking folks, has a promotional blurb from Ali Edwards on the back cover!).

Yeah, I'm a bit late to the Brene Brown party. I stopped by her blog years ago, in a more cynical and flippant time in my life, and it felt a bit too New-Agey to me back then. But now, I can't get enough. She is real. She is authentic. She is grounded. She is funny. Four of my very favorite qualities.

 

A Personal Aside

My husband, Travis, and I have found a new solution to the 45 minutes (or more!) we often spend browsing through Apple TV or Netflix to find a movie we're both in the mood to watch at the same time on weekends. It is stunning how rare it is for us to just sit down and fall into a movie we both want to watch. It always takes much haggling, much negotiating, and much debate over who got more points for the last movie we watched together.

Him: "I better be getting serious points for watching this movie; this is totally a chick flick!"

Me: "No it is NOT. Let us examine the baby-to-gun ratio in this film. There have been exactly two babies and at least five dozen guns. So it is a dude movie. So I get the points for watching it."

Him: "BUT if you factor in the kissing to explosions ratio, there have been five kissing scenes and only two explosions..." No one ever wins.

I'll be in the mood for drama when he wants a comedy. Or he'll be in the mood for a documentary when I'd rather watch a British period romance (which, let's be honest, is any time of any day).

So if we find ourselves starting down the movie preview rabbit hole, we pull out our iPhones and browse for a new TED to watch, which we can push instantly to our TV monitor, thanks to Apple TV. Most TED talks are only 10-20 minutes long, and we've realized that we'd rather have our minds blown four times in a row, on four diverse topics, than spend an hour waffling over the available movie choices.

So what about you? Are you familiar with TED? What's your favorite? If you have a favorite or two, please include links!

*Note:  accidentally published this instantly instead of in the a.m. And rather than unpublish it now only to republish it tomorrow, let's enjoy a bit of Tuesday on Monday, okay?*

Excuses, Excuses, and BIG HUGE News

For the first time in Yeah, Write history, I managed to neglect my poor blog for an entire month. When I look back at my blog archives, I'll wonder, "What happened to August of 2012? Did NOTHING notable happen during that month? I really had NOTHING to say? That is so not like me!"

And then I'll read this post, and I'll remember.

You see, I've been a little bit busy.

I apologize in advance if The Brady Bunch theme gets stuck in your head for the rest of the day. I've been humming it for the last TWO WEEKS. Even poor Keira has been subjected to it at bedtime, as whatever song I'm humming eventually morphs into Brady territory: "Twinkle, Twinkle little star, who was bringing up three very lovely girls..."

So, yeah, this is my BIG news!

My company, Ella Publishing Co., that I've nurtured and grown for the last three years, is now part of the Big Picture Classes family. And I couldn't be more thrilled! My eBook production duties will continue, and I'm also the new Editorial Director at Big Picture Classes, a position I can continue to fulfill in my pajamas, from the comfort of my home office, with Jovie looking in at me from the backyard window—just like always.

It's going to be a whole new world for me and for Ella, and yet it also feels like coming home. I'm back together with the core team that brought the world Simple Scrapbooks magazine—me, Wendy Smedley, Stacy Julian, Cathy Zielske, and Mark Seastrand (former Publisher at Creating Keepsakes magazine and current CEO of Big Picture Classes).

It's the past and the future all rolled into one. And it feels so good and so right.

And on top of that, I get to spend most of my time doing what I really do best. No more trying to design my own website banners, learning html, trying to understand what MySQL means, balancing books and printing checks, phoning someone in Pakistan from Walmart while simultaneously pushing a crying 18-month-old through Wal-Mart (who was upset because I wouldn't let her open and drink a container of bubbles) in hopes of getting my website back up after it crashed due to massive amounts of traffic heading over from Stampin' Up!'s Facebook page.

I get to write. And edit. And write some more. And teach classes. And brainstorm with brilliant women. Yeah, that's the life for me.