With only five more shopping days to go before Christmas, I decided it's time to disappoint my friends and family yet again with my list of things they will not be receiving from me this year.
1. The Smart Planet CDM-2 Pigs in a Blanket Maker
Granted, this puppy has a total of seven reviews on Amazon.com, all 5-star. But I suppose if you're going to purchase an appliance this specific, you probably have a specific need for it. And since I don't think there's anyone on my gift list this year who is a particular pig-in-a-blanket connoisseur, I'll take a pass on this one. It would probably be a big hit with the kids, though. Me? I'm not sure I've even had the option to sample this American delicacy since I frequented the Southland Elementary cafeteria in the '80s.
2. Claw magnifying necklace
It makes such a statement all on its own that, well, what would you wear with it? Maybe a tall, pointy hat? So, friends and family, you won't be startled by one of these in your gift bag this year. For that matter, it's probably safe to say that I won't be giving any gifts this year that involve bird claws.
3. Giraffe toilet brush.
Finally! A toilet-cleaning device that you can proudly display in your bathroom! No boring, white toilet brushes skulking in the corner, where no one ever notices or appreciates them. And the fact that it looks like a toy means your kids will happily play with it for hours on end. With a giraffe-shaped toiled brush, everyone wins. But you're still not getting one from me this year.
Sorry, pals, you won't get the opportunity to replace the frustration of peeling the shells off of hard-boiled eggs with the frustration of assembling six tiny capsules, greasing them up with cooking oil, trying to aim the contents of a cracked egg into the tiny opening on top, cleaning up the mess once the pan boils over, and then trying pry the boiled eggs out of the capsules. Not from me, anyway.
I couldn't even bring myself to talk about Forever Lazy this year, but that doesn't mean it's in the running for gift giving. Maybe next year.
What are you most excited about not getting this year?