Yeah, Write

Why Grocery Shopping Sucks

1. You load up your cart with boxes, bags, and sundries, while hideous music plays overhead.
2. You unload everything at the checkout counter and always spend $50 more than you meant to.
3. Then if, heaven forbid, you use the self-checkout, you then have to load everything BACK into your cart yourself.
3. You then unload your cart (again) into the trunk of your car.
4. You then unload your trunk and carry everything into your kitchen.
5. And finally, you unload the individual bags into your cupboards (or pantry, for you lucky devils), only to repeat the process 7 days later.

Could anything be more inefficient?

I dream of the days when we can beam everything Star-Trek style directly into the refrigerator.

I do have a vegetable garden, which helps, but it's only useful 3 months of the year.

What are your thoughts on grocery shopping?

p.s. Is anyone clear on why the term "home farming" has caught on? What was wrong with "gardening"? Is it because gardening is something old people with funny hats do, while home farming is something young hipsters with $70 haircuts do? I was just wondering.

This Girl

She melts my heart every single day.

(Hey, that title, that photo, and that single sentence of journaling would make a lovely little scrapbook page. Adding to my to-do list...)

Baby Photos: 8 Months Old

Yeah, yeah, she's almost 9 months old. But hey, I have a BABY. Life is BUSY.

"Okay, I have a little story about my 8-month-old photo shoot. I started out looking all pretty in pink."

"And I am absolutely MORTIFIED to report that I had a little accident. Well, a pretty big one. I even needed to take a BATH!"

"See? All clean now."

"My dad did my hair for me after my bath. Do you like it? It's kind of crazy style, but we all think it's pretty cute how much dad likes to get me dressed and do my hair. We think this was the best shot from today. Mom sure was having trouble with that camera today. (Shhh! Don't tell her I told you that.)"

"Well, until next time, here's a little kiss from me to you. Mmmmmwah!"

It's All About Perspective

Shot with my Hipstamatic for iPhone
Lens: John S
Flash: Off
Film: Ina's 1969

The view from my back yard. That hideous tangle of power lines gives me a jolt of annoyance every time I look out my back window. Or it used to.

Enter a houseguest, visiting from one of the flatter states. She and I were standing on my back patio, and just as I had opened my mouth to apologize for living in an old neighborhood with ugly, exposed power lines (when so many of the surrounding neighborhoods have buried lines), she said:

"Look at that view! I'd love to have such gorgeous mountains right in my back yard. You are so lucky."

My mouth snapped shut.

Of course. It really is a stunning view. My focus has been all wrong.

It's my choice to look past the ugly and drink in the beauty just beyond, rising majestically in the distance.

Journaling Prompt
What areas of your life could use a new view? Have you had a recent epiphany that changed your perspective about the blessings in your life? What ugly scenes, memories, and moments have hidden beauty looming behind them, if you'd only open your eyes and see? Take a moment to write about it.

Loving the Black Frame Polaroids!

We do have a nice Nikon camera around the house, but photos taken with the 1960s-era vintage Polaroid Land Camera seem so much more REAL somehow. More poignant. Instantly nostalgic.

I love having the immediate print shoot out of the front of the camera. I love the new black-framed film Travis found online. I love that this is the same camera that witnessed much of Travis's childhood, and that he now he uses it to photograph our little family.

These are perhaps my favorite photos Travis has ever taken of Keira.

And here's a very REAL, in-the-moment shot of Jeremy:

And you can see more gems like this on the official Travis Lucas Flickr photostream. This is exactly what they looked like, straight out of the camera—no digital filters or effects. He just scanned them and uploaded them. :)

New Fees Effective Immediately

You may or may not remember this post from the Yeah, Write archives. (If you DO remember it, you deserve a gold star, my friend. We have been blogging pals for nearly two years.)

It was inspired by this page from Real Simple magazine:

And here are MY new fees, effective immediately:

• Eating cold cereal in my presence when I am not also eating cold cereal: $.50 per spoonful
  Pet peeve of all pet peeves. The slurping of the milk, the scraping of the spoon, the overall cacophony of unpleasant sounds! If solo cereal eating begins, I must immediately depart the room, lest I charge the fine listed above.
  
  
• Diva baby clothing: $12.99 per outfit
  Clothing manufacturers, please do not put the phrases "Little Diva," "Brat in Training," or similar on any baby or child-sized outfits of any kind, especially when they're hidden at the bottom of a three-pack of bibs that were otherwise cute and innocent. They might as well say, "Future Heinous B*tch." I personally am doing my best not to raise one of those.
  
  
• Posting vague, veiled "Facebook bombs" as status updates: $650
  Example: "When will a certain person grow up and realize that the whole entire world doesn't revolve around YOU, you selfish cow?" And then all your Facebook friends scan their recent interactions with you to discover if they're the culprit. I've seen many variations of this childish antic, and it must stop!
  
  (Exception: It is fine to publicly slam the anonymous lady who cut in front of you at the grocery store, or the driver who flipped you off on the freeway, because all of your FB friends will know that they are not the guilty party. If you're going to lecture someone on Facebook, be at least a little bit specific, so those you're NOT lecturing can rest easy. Can you tell I feel strongly about this? I've had too many conversations with people wondering, "Do you think Tracy was referring to me? Should I say something to her? I really didn't know she took it that way!")

• Discovery Health Freakshows: $5 per episode
  Since Keira was born, I'm watching a lot more middle-of-the-night television. I love freaky medical mysteries as much as the next person, but it's starting to border on circus-style exploitation. The show 30 Rock gave a nod to this trend by listing a fake (and hilarious) show called: "The Real Transvestite Hoarders of Orange County Penitentiary." To that I add my contribution: "Half-Ton Pregnant Teens who are Addicted to Eating Laundry Detergent."

• Teachers who are Facebook friends with your teen: $9 per student
  Especially when said teacher has dedicated her entire FB profile to a narrow political platform, from which she is preaching to your teen. Inappropriate! I LOVE the approach a teacher friend shared with me, "All of my students think I'm the same political persuasion they are."

• Machine callers: $35 per call
  Recently, 24 Hour Fitness was attempting to reach me. I'd get a phone call from a machine that wanted to leave me a message. If I'd answer the phone, the message would not play. If my answering maching picked up, the machine would leave a phone number to call them back. When I called back, they were either closed or had ridiculous wait times. Argh!

• Fiskars Fingertip Craft Knife: $50
  Worst. Product. Name. Ever. So it's a craft knife that cuts off fingertips? This is indeed a fabulous product that I use regularly (and all of my fingertips are currently intact), but it has a most unfortunate name.
  
  
• Doctor's Offices with a 3-Step Appointment Confirmation Process: one office-visit copay
  Keira's pediatrician is wonderful, but I detest the office's appointment reminder system. I make an appointment, and I write it down. Then I start getting reminder calls a week before that require me to call back and confirm that I will indeed show up at the appointment. (The making of the appointment WAS the confirmation.) I keep getting calls until I respond to one. I vastly prefer the "call us back if you won't make it" policy. And if I don't make it, feel free to charge me for an office visit. Just STOP CALLING ME.

Thank you.

 

Ah, Summer

The first few weeks are always so disorienting. Where did all the time go? Why can I only accomplish 1/3 of what I was accomplishing in the winter and the spring? I don't think I'm spending that much more time in the great outdoors. But I'm certainly no longer the winter shut-in that I was just a few months ago.



Life marches on way too quickly with the vegetable gardening (haven't gotten around to any flowers!), editing and writing, parenting the 8-month-old and the 17-year-old, keeping the house, walking the baby and the dog, being in charge of the primary children in my congregation, planning a class for Big Picture Classes, and trying to keep up with Ella Publishing Co. while finding time to scrapbook, craft, and create. Busy, busy, busy, but good.

And last week, I found time to be on The Paperclipping Roundtable (thanks to my in-laws watching the baby upstairs while I chatted with Noell, Nancy, and the gang from the basement). Another fun episode! Topic: how to tackle big, huge projects. Title: For Big Scrapbooking Projects (and Grocery Shopping) Check out the collective group album mentioned on the show, which my family made for my grandfather, in this past blog post. And there's also one for grandma!

Oh, and did you hear about Ella's latest product? List It! Holiday Edition. I think you'll LOVE it!

Here's a little layout I made using the List It! printable journaling lists! Super cute, easy, and fun. And then Jovie the Destructor promptly ate this layout, so I had to remake it. That's why you'll notice a slightly different version of the page showing up in this video, which you MUST watch if you'd like a glimpse of little Keira Jane waving at the end.

Okay, More Old News

I am the queen of being behind on the news, whether personal, local, national, or worldwide. Hey, did you hear that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up?

Anyway, I had a layout featured in the April edition of Scrapbooks Etc. magazine, in a baby article by Erin Clarkson. It was a thrilling moment for me—Keira Jane's first appearance in print—but nevertheless I failed to blog about it. I also failed to pick up a copy of the magazine while it was still on the newsstands. (Any tips for where I can find an April 2011 issue of Scrapbooks Etc. for me to keep? My local scrapbook store doesn't carry Scrapbooks Etc.)

The photos of the layout are terrible, but trust me that it's just too precious for words in real life. (Products by The Girls' Paperie.)

6/7/11 CORRECTION, 8:47 p.m.: So, it turns out my layout WAS in the June issue after all! I was initally told to plan on it being in the April issue, so I was just watching for that. And I swear the pages of my June issue must have been stuck together, because I completely did not see it in the June issue I received! My mom and I even had a conversation about the adorable ladybug costume in the layout on page 45 (by Erica Hernandez), and there my layout was on page 49. Thanks to alert reader Madeline St. Onge for catching my mistake. Now to apologize to Scrapbooks Etc. for the extra April issues they sent me! (And for once, I had breaking, current news to share; I just didn't know it!)

The left half:

The right half:

The journaling reads:

After waiting six years to be a mother, and having imagined this moment all my life, it was hard to believe my dream was coming true. These are the moments that it finally felt real...

When two sweet 19-year-olds gave us a framed picture of an ultrasound, titled “Baby Girl Lucas”
When I saw a bitsy baby girl live on ultrasound and heard her heartbeat at a doctor’s appointment with Anneliese
When I posted the happy news on my blog and got 135 congratulatory comments from friends and strangers alike
When I came home from a yard sale with ten pristine pairs of baby shoes (for only $30!)
When I opened dozens of adorable gifts at three baby showers, all in the same week
When I got a call from Anneliese at 8:30 p.m. on Friday, October 1, to tell me she was in labor
While we were frantically setting up the nursery (in just two days!), with help from Grandma Beverly and Aunt Lynsey
When I collected pink dryer lint from the lint trap after washing load after load of new baby clothes
When I’d glimpse our new car seat, sitting there in the living room, waiting for Keira Jane
When we showed up at McKay-Dee Hospital at 9 a.m. on Monday, October 4, to meet her for the first time
When I finally held her in my arms, and she felt so perfect and right.

The cool thing is that so many of these moments had been already preserved and featured on my blog. I love looking back at those posts and reliving the anticipation I felt while I waited for my little one, now 8 months old and sitting up like a champ. (But not mobile yet, thank goodness.)

Journaling Prompt
What is something for which you waited for years? What were all the little milestone moments when your dream finally felt real? Whatever the dream, or whatever the journey, capture your thoughts in list-style journaling.