photo by Elisha Snow
Tomorrow is Mother's Day.
But in adoption circles (particularly in open adoption circles), the Saturday before is designated as Birth Mother's Day.
The first time I heard about this holiday-before-the-holiday, I selfishly thought "but...I don't want to share!" This is the same thought I had the very first time I heard about open adoption itself.
But throughout this process, and after meeting Keira's birthmom, I learned something profound. The only reason I have a little darling in owl pajamas snuggled into the crook of my arm right now is because someone else was willing to share with me. So who am I to say "mine, mine, mine"?
None of us has sole "ownership" of any baby--ours to do whatever we please with. No. I believe that all children are first and foremost God's children, and they are entrusted to us for a time to love and nurture, to teach and be taught by.
I honor birthmothers everywhere today. Every time I meet a woman who has placed her own tiny baby in another woman's arms or discover that someone I've known for years was a birthmom long ago, I feel love, compassion, and admiration for her. And gratitude.
And with the sure knowledge that I am Keira's mother, the mother who will be with her for all of life's milestones, big and small, the mother who has the responsibility for her health and happiness every day, it is no sacrifice at all to share this holiday weekend.
Anneliese was her first mother. I find it very appropriate to honor her first, the day before I can enjoy the honor of my first Mother's Day.
If you're a mother, write in your journal about the journey (whether physical, legal, emotional, or spirtual) you went through to bring each of your children into your life.
If you're hoping and praying to be a mother, write about the journey you're on right now. What are your hopes? What are your fears? How do you feel?
If you don't expect to become a mother at all, write about your own journey into your mother's arms. If you don't know enough of the details, take the time tomorrow to ask her or someone else who knows the story.