Sorry to spoil the surprise, but here's a list of items that I will NOT be getting you for Christmas this year.
1. The Snuggie: now in fashionable patterns and prints!
Can you believe this was modeled on a runway? It seems to me they should roll out a sofa with a Snuggified model lounging thereon. One more question: in what possible circumstance would you ever need to don a Snuggie and a pair of sunglasses at the same time?
2. The Inclement Ostrich necklace
I'm sorry Anthropologie, I love you to death, but this I just can't quite grasp. Dear readers, do you know anyone who could successfully pull off this necklace? It's a steal at $118.
3. Talk to the Hand Sticky Notes
Finally! The world's worst cultural catchphrase is now on a creepy notepad!
4. The Bacon Scarf
While bacon certainly has its good points, I just don't think people should wear it. Or anything that looks like it.
I discovered the following advice in a recent online article, and I plan to take it to heart: "Don't give a human being anything that involves the trimming of any hair follicles anywhere on his or her person this season." Words of wisdom.
You're welcome, everyone.
