Having been a full-time employee for the past 11 years of my life, I have never been home in the afternoons to partake of the phenomenon that is Oprah. I for one am baffled at the power she wields to influence what we read, what we wear, and even what we think. For years, I'd avoid any book that said "Oprah's Book Club" on it, just because I didn't want to become one of her loyal subjects. As a woman, I think it's absolutely awesome to see a strong, principled woman make such a raging success out of everything she touches. But I think it's getting a little bit ridiculous. May I present exhibits A, B, and C:
Exhibit A
Sign Spotted Outside of Independent Lingerie Shop in Riverton, Utah
First of all, there's an independent lingerie shop in Riverton, Utah? Yes, I'm just as baffled as you are. And the way this sign reads, you'd think the Lord himself commanded the women of Riverton to get a bra fitting. It should be preceded by a "Thou Shalt!" And the sad thing is: I bet this sign works. At the mere sight of the huge OPRAH at the top of the sign, female passersby instantly fall under a trance and obediently pull over their cars. They march zombie-like into the store to have their girls sized up by a perky woman who wears a measuring tape like a necklace.
Exhibit B
30 Rock Episode: "The Fighting Irish" from 2007
Speaking of strong, independent, successful women, get a load of Tina Fey! I'm a big fan of 30 Rock, and I found the following exchange especially funny. It's funny because it's true:
Tracy Jordan: My
attorney told me I should join a church preemptively, 'cause juries are
suspicious of celebrities who find religion after getting into trouble.... So, what's your religion, Liz Lemon?
Liz Lemon (Tina Fey): Hmm, I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.
Exhibit C
Oprah's Sports Bra Spotted in Angie Lucas's Closet
For the past 10 weeks, I've been training for my first half-marathon. (The big day is April 18!) It recently became quite clear that both my shoes and my boob harness were woefully inadequate, so I stopped in to the Salt Lake Running Company. I asked the very knowledgeable and sprightly sales associate, "What do you have in the way of bullet-proof sports bras?" She held up a 15-hook contraption and said, "This is the one Oprah wore for her marathon." Sold! Not because an Oprah recommendation has any magic sway with me, oh no. Any woman that well-endowed who can finish a marathon without giving herself two black eyes can sell me a sports bra. Ever since meeting Enell: Performance Attire for Well-Endowed Women, my girls and I have never looked back. Truly the best $65 dollars the three of us have ever spent.
In the interest of full disclosure, I quite enjoy O magazine.
Lucas out.*
*that one's for you, Melissa LaFavers
